I was 33. My life seemed full. I loved my children, my church, and my work. Still discontent stirred inside of me. I was searching, but I did not know what for. I began to experience a disconnect with the world around me. From the time we are young this world pushes us to decide who we are. They ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Children are imaginative and filled with hope. They think big. Astronaut, doctor, pilot, vet, teacher, princess. But as we grow up, the world begins to mold us into what it thinks we should be. Be realistic they tell us. Don’t set your hopes too high. Slowly, our aspirations drift and sink. And then one day, we discover we are not who we thought we would be.
We ask ourselves, “Who am I? How did I get here?”
We desperately seek to find some kind of identity and purpose in this world. Our dreams become buried or forgotten. The crippling fear of making a wrong choice puts limitations on us. We lose faith. Many of us find ourselves settling with unfulfilled dreams. We work, we take care of our families. We go to church. We believe in Jesus. But we are simply existing.
I woke up one morning and found myself asking these same questions and wondering who am I… really. I am a mother. I am an entrepreneur. I am a minister…housekeeper, cook, chauffeur, and cheerleader. If I am all these things, what is this lingering discontent? Where did my passion go?
I was in my room alone, reading and praying. I was smiling outside but hurting deeply inside. Life had not happened the way I planned. I had been crying out to God for weeks for understanding. I was waiting for a miracle. I wasn’t looking for a burning bush. I simply wanted to hear Him. I knew what His word said. But I did not see a manifestation of it in my life.
When Jesus turned and saw her, He said, “Cheer up, daughter! Your faith has made you well.” At that very moment the woman became well. -Matthew 9:22
Suddenly, there was a change in the room. It was as if He looked at me and said, “Cheer up daughter!” The room filled with this amazing love that was overwhelming, beautiful. It was almost like liquid or a thick cloud around me, and I heard a voice speak to my heart. I knew it was Him, and I knew He was talking directly to me.
“I am your Father. You are my child. And I love you.”
I began weeping, but these tears were different. An understanding entered my mind, and in the midst of that love, I realized I had it wrong all along. I am not who the world defines me to be. I am not defined by my past. I AM a child of the I AM. I am His and He is mine. 
In an instant, I realized that was what I had been missing. I had been defining who I am by the wrong standards. The Love in the room filled every empty space in my heart. It soothed my hurts. It filled me with hope, peace, joy. I understood His grace. This was personal.
I AM. I am a child of the most-high God. Other’s opinions of me will not define who I am. My identity is not in them, or in a title, or in a position. My identity is in Jesus Christ. It is in the One who created me, who knew me first, who knows me best. The I Am. Suddenly I was free, and I knew I needed to tell someone. And so I did. And here we are. This blog is for you. Enjoy.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back from your captivity; I will gather you from all the nations and from all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you to the place from which I cause you to be carried away captive.” Jeremiah 29:11-14
I AM. BELOVED 